Let Me Prove Them Wrong Right Quick

Being safer at home has brought a lot of things to the light for me. I find myself thinking more about who I am, how I became this woman, and what I will evolve into knowing what I know about the journey I’ve found myself on. All this thinking is kind of inevitable – I am a Gemini of course – but I’ve also been questioning a lot of what I’m experiencing in the world as it (and how I navigate through it) has shifted quite a bit.

But when I think of the shifts that have taken place, one thing that I have not really seen shift too much is compassion. But specifically, I am not seeing compassion for the struggles that minorities face.

It is interesting though, because there are a lot of conversations going on about human rights, while using Black people as examples. I believe I saw something that said something along the lines that “being told no is not a removal of your human rights”. Anyways, while I could be right or wrong, that is not the conversation we are about to have today. *puts in pocket for later*

Everywhere I turn, there is something going on in the world that requires me to speak up for what’s right. If I’m not doing that, then I am defending myself or others when something is wrong, explaining why X, Y, or Z is unjustified.

And right now, I want to focus on what’s been irking me for a while now that we are in these weird times. There have been more instances of lack of compassion in the workplace! More specifically, the lack of compassion accompanied with working with those who feel threatened by you, not to mention it being a direct report. And honestly right now is not the time to have these unnecessary problems. It’s actually the last thing anybody needs.

We work to pay the bills. And unfortunately, the bills aren’t changing during this pandemic.

For some, their 9-5 is the only generated income they have. I know it is for me currently *prays a prayer right quick* Is it too much to hope that the time you spend working for a company just to get paycheck will be a pleasant experience? Is it too much to expect for someone’s place of work to not cause additional and unnecessary stress on an individual, especially when you have loved ones who are suffering or have recently passed from a global pandemic that is affecting us all? Maybe it is, but I happen to think otherwise.

Ultimately – and for me, most importantly – I love being a Black woman. More specifically, I love being a strong, Black, and independent woman who don’t take no mess. But boy I tell ya, it is hard being a strong, Black, and independent woman who don’t take no mess in a professional setting (unless you don’t mind being frowned upon). You can’t always speak you mind, you can’t always provide innovative ideas, and you can’t always set boundaries for yourself. It’s like you’re playing the White Man’s Game which isn’t set up for us to win. And it’s an old, tired game that I’m fed up with.

But alas… I work to pay the bills. And unfortunately, the bills aren’t changing during this pandemic.

There is just so much mess I have to navigate through as a Black woman who strives to be successful…

Not only is it hard in the work environment, it’s difficult in general. We have to worry about so many things… just to keep us and our loved ones safe. We have to have special conversations with our youth just to prepare them… for what to do to stay alive. To. Stay. Alive.

It takes a toll.

You have to prioritize what is most important when you’re Black. That’s because it’s our sad truth that we “can’t have it all” – that’s the message they instill in us. And you know who I’m talking about. If you want respect, you must demean or “humble” yourself a bit. If you want freedom, you might have to sabotage someone else along the way. If you want a voice, you need to ask if what you’re saying is acceptable and appropriate beforehand.

For those who find it easy to have it all, I’ll admit that I’m jealous of you. I want it all, too! But I know me, so I know it will be fighting an uphill battle because I will have respect, freedom, and a voice as it is my right. I won’t ever be someone’s plaything, humiliating or degrading myself or someone else to prove I am worthy. Because I am worthy, with or without someone’s approval or permission.

So, I won’t give up; we won’t give up. We remain hopeful. We remain creative. We remain strong and diligent in the fight for what’s right.

I am proud to say that I have worked hard to be where I am today. I don’t have everything I want, nor is it necessary for me to have everything I want. But if I want it, I know I will have to put in a little more work, because there are haters who believe I’m undeserving of greatness.

I’m definitely going to prove them wrong.

Will you?

Love,

Autumn