Be Intentional with Your Desires, Always

Today is the day that Black folks are supposed to have awakened with superpowers and as I look at my watch and see 8:33pm, I still haven’t been able to read minds, teleport, or make money appear out of thin air. I must have missed out on some of those cool things, but I’ll keep waiting. I guess people were right when they said that since I never saw Friday, I’d lost my Black card.

But something of great importance did occur today: introspection. I’ve been in this mood lately that I haven’t been able to shake. I've been scatterbrained, which has left me in a space where I'm finding difficulty moving forward. It’s clear that I need to plan for the future in order to be intentional with what I want, how I’ll get there, and who I want to be as I step into my new season.

So, I did what I do in my times of need. I went to find an old, blank notebook where I could write down my intentions. And I was ready to get deep with it. I mean, I have plans, okay?! I’m not getting any younger, it’s the Negro-solstice, and I wanted to get my goals in the Universe so I could finally reap some benefits of my life experiences.

And I found an old notebook that I thought was blank… until I read:

Letter to Self; Autumn! Lately you’ve been dreaming of your dream wedding so here is a tool to do so! I’m excited to see what comes of this, but everything will be great. Cheers to memories!

Yes, I know how insane this might be, and if you want to laugh, I won’t blame you. I wrote vows – VOWS – and I made a playlist of the songs that may or may not be played at the future wedding. I even have a timeline of …… dare I say …. the time it will take from meeting my future partner to our wedding day, which is apparently approximately 2 to 3½ years.

On a more not-so-crazy tip, I did write down a few characteristics and personality traits of my future partner:

• Kind

• Loving

• Hilarious

• Understanding

• Communicative

• Charming

• Selfless

See? I can be reasonable. And I’m not the only one who thinks about the type of person who you want standing beside you. And as embarrassing as it was to share this, I feel it’s crucial to acknowledge that it’s okay to write down what you want! And no, I'm not writing this to say that relationships are the only area of life that is important to think about futuristically. This applies to anything! Wealth, self-love, fitness, whatever! The point I'm trying to make is that if you want it, write it down. Be intentional.

What’s the word the cool kids are saying now? MANIFEST. Manifest that shit!

It was five years ago when I decided to be intentional about what kind of person I wanted to enter my life. It’s been five years when I wrote about where and who I wanted to be by the end of 2020. And now, five years later, on the glorious Negro-solstice, I realize that some of the things I intended on have come to fruition. So today I made some time to be purposeful about where I go from here.

I started with my list of intentions. Some of the items on the list included:

• To acknowledge and be available to my needs emotionally, physically, and mentally

• To continue practicing methods to overcome depressive episodes

• To have the courage to do what’s right always

• To be consistent with my endeavors, especially through times of self-doubt

• To stay remain intrigued with my partner and my relationship

Five years ago, this list looked very different. I am really growing up right before my very own eyes! My 22-year-old self would be proud. More importantly, my 27-year-old self is proud of my growth.

So, I say all this to say: take some time out while you can to do some introspection. Scratch that. Carve out some time reflect on where you’ve been, where you are, and where you want to go and write down your intentions for this new season you’re approaching.

This year has been tough, and it’s time for you to take inventory of what you’ve gained and/or lost this year. This will look different for everyone, and that’s okay. Reflect on how you’ve felt and how you want to feel. And most importantly, write down the desires of your heart. The Universe may be listening and your time may be coming sooner than you think.

Pave the way for the greatness that you desire.

Love,

Autumn